


Fevered Fears

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [82]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Aquaphobia, Declarations Of Love, Delusions, Established Relationship, Feels, Fever, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), M/M, Mistaken Identity, Panic Attacks, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scared Loki (Marvel), Sick Character, Sick Tony Stark, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Triggers, Trust, Worried Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Loki knows that Anthony has a fear of water, and that he hates the bath. But Loki also knows that Anthony’s temperature is too high.Heneedsto break the fever. He doesn’t have a choice.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [82]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 31
Kudos: 373





	Fevered Fears

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this](https://whumpster-dumpster.tumblr.com/post/190199222267/a-whumpee-with-a-fear-of-water-and-a-high-fever?is_related_post=1) on tumblr and I felt the need to write it with these two.  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“I trust you.”_

When Loki realised how high Anthony’s fever had become, he felt his heart sink.

He knew that the fever needed to be broken. He knew that Anthony’s temperature needed to be brought down, because it was _dangerously_ high for a Midgardian. He knew that one way to do that was to get Anthony into a bath of lukewarm water.

He knew all this, and yet… the very thought of doing it had his entire being screeching in horror.

But he had no other choice. Loki was not skilled enough with healing magic to bring the temperature down on his own, and JARVIS had assured him that Anthony would react almost as badly if not worse to waking up in a hospital as he would to being placed in a bath.

Loki was going to have to do it.

He drew in a deep breath as he stood beside Anthony’s bed, his hand trembling slightly as he pressed his palm to Anthony’s forehead. The man’s skin was so warm that it burned against Loki’s, and it felt far, far too dry. The sight of Anthony like this, pale and delirious, whimpering out words that didn’t make any sense– it had Loki feeling sick with worry. He wasn’t used to mortal illnesses, he didn’t know how easily they could be caught or how quickly they might result in death. JARVIS had reassured him and helped him where he could, but Loki was well and truly out of his depth.

And it _scared_ him.

He loved Anthony with every fibre of his being, and to watch him suffer whilst being unable to do anything about it, while there was no enemy to kill other than sickness and no magical solution that he knew, Loki felt so utterly helpless.

But, _this._ This, he could do. He had to.

Anthony shuddered as Loki gathered him in his arms, holding him close against his chest. He felt lighter than he should have, and Loki tried not to let that stick too heavily in his mind as he began to carry him to the bathroom, where JARVIS had already prepared a tub of water at the perfect temperature. Anthony clung to Loki like a limpet, as if Loki were the only thing holding him together– and Loki felt bile begin to rise up his throat.

He didn’t want to do this.

But Anthony’s breathing was laboured, his eyes fluttering closed. He was _too warm_ , it wasn’t safe, Loki needed to act _quickly._

And when Loki reached the bath, he bent down to slowly lower Anthony into the water.

At first, Anthony didn’t seem to realise what was happening. He tried to hold on to Loki but only because he appeared to enjoy the closeness, whining slightly as Loki leaned forward, clearly understanding at least that Loki was about to put him down.

But then Anthony’s bare skin touched the water—

And his eyes flew open with an agonised, _terrified_ gasp.

“No,” Anthony said, his voice a little slurred but still so very, very panicked. “No, Loki, please, no, don’t– I haven’t done anything, I promise, I haven’t done anything to deserve this I love you I can’t– _why are you doing this to me_ put me down Loki I— _Loki—”_

Loki felt every word as a knife through his heart as he realised what Anthony thought he was doing—

He knew what Anthony had been through in the past. Loki had held his lover through nightmares, he’d listened as Anthony had spilled out his heart. He _knew_ why Anthony preferred showers over baths, he knew why he never went swimming—

And he knew that Anthony, in his fevered state, believed Loki was about to try to drown him.

“Anthony, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to help—”

“No no _no_ get off me let me go let me– _JARVIS!_ Stop him—”

“Sir, Mr Liesmith is only trying to help you—”

“He’s going to– JARVIS I’m drowning– Loki stop, let me go, I’ll do anything—”

Loki lifted Anthony higher from the water, but now that he thought Loki was trying to hurt him he continued to struggle _._ And while Loki was more than strong enough to hold on he was worried Anthony would end up injuring himself, and so as quickly and as smoothly as he could, Loki lowered Anthony to the ground and placed him upon the bathmat.

Anthony immediately scurried away from Loki, pressing his back against the side of the tub, his breathing hard and heavy. His eyes were wide, bulging– not seeing clearly, and it was only that which stopped Loki’s heart from shattering immediately.

If Anthony were in his right mind, he would not be thinking these things. Just as Loki was not trying to drown Anthony, Anthony did not truly think that Loki _would_ do such a thing.

Loki knew that Anthony didn’t see him as a monster.

He had to hold on to that. For _Anthony’s_ sake.

Loki drew in another deep breath, trying to steady himself.

“Anthony, elskan mín. I am not trying to hurt you, I swear it on the Nine, on my seiðr, on the memory of my mother.”

Anthony’s breathing did not calm, and his fear did not seem to ease. But his eyes _did_ focus on Loki’s face, and Loki knew that meant he could _hear_ him.

Perhaps, despite the fever, Loki might still be able to reach him.

“Anthony, do you remember what I told you last night, when you first told me that you were feeling ill? Can you remember?”

There was no recognition in Anthony’s eyes, but Loki remained persistent.

“I told you that if you did fall sick, I would make sure to look after you. That I would stay by your side, regardless of _how_ sick you got. That I would help you until you were better, no matter what it took. Do you know why I made that promise?”

Anthony shook his head– but his breathing was starting to settle, just a little.

“Because I love you. Because I care about you, and I will do anything to help you. _Anything._ Even if it means that you may not forgive me for it. But Anthony, I swear to you, I am only trying to help your temperature come down, it is too high. Do you know what happens when your temperature is too high for too long?”

There was barely any response at all. In fact, it seemed to have the _opposite_ effect to what Loki had hoped, for Anthony looked away entirely.

Loki grit his teeth, but tried not to let himself grow frustrated. He needed _patience._ Sure, he could take the route he knew Thor would have likely already chosen– picked Anthony up and thrown him in the bath, then kept him there by force until his temperature returned to a safe level. But that would _terrify_ Anthony, and Loki refused to even contemplate doing such a thing.

No. This was going to require a different solution.

Quietly, Loki flicked his wrist, and a sharp silver dagger landed in his palm. Anthony’s eyes blew even wider, his breathing increasing to a rapid pace once more as he stared—

But then Loki flipped it around, and pressed the blade to his _own_ heart.

Anthony slackened slightly at the sight, so Loki was able to reach out and pry one of Anthony’s hands from the bathmat and place it on the hilt of the knife.

“Anthony, look at me,” Loki said– gently at first, but when his lover’s scared gaze remained on the knife, Loki spoke a little firmer. “ _Look at me._ I swear, I am not trying to drown you, I would never, _never_ do so. But if you think that I would, if you truly _believe_ that I could ever do such a thing, then push this dagger into my heart. Do it now, elskan mín. The pain would be no different to me.”

Anthony’s fearful eyes flicked rapidly between Loki’s face and the dagger, as if he were finally _seeing_.

“You’re… Loki?”

“Yes, my love,” Loki said, hearing the pure relief in his own tone. “I am here. And I am not going to hurt you.”

Anthony let out a horrified sob– and then he lurched forward, flinging the dagger away and throwing himself at Loki’s chest with all the energy that his weakened body possessed.

Loki groaned as he held him close, leaning his face into Anthony’s hair.

“Anthony, you’re going to be all right,” Loki said. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry,” Anthony sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Shh, it’s all right,” Loki soothed– and as his hands stroked softly down Anthony’s too-warm back, he rocked them back and forth with gentle movements. “We’re both going to be all right.”

Anthony shuddered. “But you, you want me to—”

“No,” Loki said, shaking his head. “No, not if– no. I think… that maybe, there is another option. JARVIS, would you be able to set the shower to the right temperature, please?”

Loki waited for JARVIS to tell him that the bath would be more efficient, that the shower wouldn’t work as well to bring Anthony’s temperature down– or that it might bring it down too quickly, because more of Anthony’s skin would be in contact with the air.

But… there were no complaints. The only response to Loki’s request was the sound of running water as the shower burst into life.

“Would it help if you got in yourself?” Loki asked.

Anthony considered that for a few moments, before– “No,” he said. “I think… it might help more if you get in with me.”

That eased some of the tension that still prowled around Loki’s heart, but he couldn’t help asking– “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Anthony’s hands clenched a little tighter in Loki’s shirt. “I trust you.”

After everything that had just happened, those words might have rung false– but to Loki, they were beyond precious.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Anthony’s head, and he felt the other man lean into the touch– likely because of the relative coolness of Loki’s skin. Then Loki wrapped his arms more firmly around Anthony, and helped him up.

Anthony’s steps were wobbly, but they still moved together toward the shower. Loki removed his clothes with little more than a thought, and then he stepped inside first.

It was easy enough to arrange themselves – with Loki’s back against the wall and Anthony’s back pressed to Loki’s chest – so that the water didn’t touch Anthony’s face. JARVIS helped, too, redirecting the stream and keeping the temperature steadily lukewarm, and just slightly warmer than the bath to account for the fact that Anthony wasn’t entirely submerged.

“Mr Liesmith, might I remind you that cold packs under Sir’s arms will help…”

Loki nodded at JARVIS’ suggestion– though he had left the cold packs he had prepared next to the sink, and he did not wish to move.

But, no matter.

Steadying himself, Loki focused on his hands– watched as his pale skin blushed blue. He didn’t let enough of his true nature to seep through to freeze Anthony, just enough to be cooler than the water– and then he held his hands to Anthony’s sides, running them up and down, cooling his skin.

Anthony sighed and leaned back against him, his head falling to Loki’s chest.

And slowly, slowly—

Anthony began to cool down.

—

The fever broke overnight.

Loki was overjoyed despite his exhaustion when he woke to find Anthony in his right mind, his temperature finally within the normal range. He was still ill, that much was clear– but he was so much better than he had been the night before that Loki almost cried with relief.

Anthony, unfortunately, seemed to notice.

“Lokes, I’m all right—”

“Yes,” Loki said, leaning over their bed to draw Anthony into his side, so that they were cuddled close together. “You’re going to be fine.”

He said the words more for his own benefit than for Anthony’s.

Anthony smiled, and touched his lips to Loki’s bare chest before relaxing against him. Anthony’s skin was still a bit pale, his eyes still red, his breathing a little laboured– but he was going to be _fine._

“Hey uh, Loki? Can I ask you something?”

Loki opened his eyes, barely having realised that he had closed them. “Anything, elskan mín.”

“…Okay, two somethings. First of all, what does elsky—”

“Elskan mín,” Loki cut in, his lips curving into a smile. “It means _my love.”_

There was a pause for a moment.

“Oh.”

“Anthony,” Loki chuckled, lifting his head slightly to look at his lover’s face in pure fondness. “I have told you that I love you many times. You have even said it back. Please do not tell me that your fever has affected your—”

“If it _has_ messed up my memory, are you seriously going to joke about it?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“Right, right. But really, that’s just…” Anthony trailed off, and cleared his throat. “I love you too, you know. But _okay–_ my main question. Loki, were you really going to let me stab you?”

“Norns, no,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “Anthony, I trust you with my life, but I’m not a fool. You had a fever. You could have been thinking that I was Thanos for all I knew.”

Anthony snorted at that. “ _Good,”_ he said. “Glad I didn’t pick a fool to spend the rest of my life with.”

Loki smiled at that, brighter than before. He leaned down, uncaring that Anthony was still sick– and when Anthony lifted his head, Loki pressed their lips together in a sweet, chaste kiss.

Hopefully he wouldn’t be able to catch Midgardian illnesses.

“Hey, Loki…” Anthony sounded a little nervous, and Loki didn’t try to fill the pause. He just waited, until Anthony gathered his thoughts. “I do trust you, okay? I mean it. I want you to know that.”

Loki smiled, drew him close, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“I do know,” he replied. “I promise. And I trust you, as well.”

And, you know what? Despite the fact that the knife the night before had been nothing more than an illusion, Loki really _did_ mean it.


End file.
